According to a new report which just come in the Minister of Home Affairs made a new directive: citizens are not permitted to laugh together in the open as it is considered a threat to the nation’s security! Hold your laugh when you ask: Why laughing together in the open can be a security risk? When asked about this the Minister said: this is serious matter: when people laugh they let down their defenses and allow ideas of wild freedom to invade their thinking and this could lead to wild behaviour that cause massive traffic jams, threaten the cabbies’ business and thus undermine the national security! Already over 1000 police reports had been made, 1 by each member of the cabbie union, against a planned open group laugh on July 9th this year, by a group of citizens who find the election of a country of laughing citizens, the Ha Ha Land , highly irregular and, well, good excuse for a big laugh. Academics from several universities have also came out of their institutions to testify that laughing wildly, especially in a group, can lead to a person losing their head and commit laughable crimes eg allowing non-citizens to join in the laugh! As though to prove the point the academics put forward a widely circulated video clip which shows that, before the wild bombing of Iraq, the American president was seen laughing among a few of his generals!
When asked why there are other meetings permitted by the government which involved unstoppable laughing by a big group of ruling party members and civil servants the Minister said that he leaves the permit issue to the police who has full jurisdiction over enforcing the laughing matter. Since group laughing is illegal anything -whether t-shirts depicting laughing, shoe, bus or anything promoting group laughing will be considered good enough reasons for police arrests, according to the national police chief, who had lost his laughter after a serious operation. But that does not limit members of the Minister’s party or their zealous supporters to engage in wild, open and group laughing sessions on the same date or any other dates, complained the members of the organising group for the July 9th group laugh, HHH(short for Ha, ha, ha)!
HHH chairperson complained further that group laughing in the open is a Constitutional right spelled out in section 7, subsection 9 of the Federal Constitution, the highest law of the country. She offers the chief of police to designate a route where the members of the group laughing session would roll while laughing uncontrollably. She warned that if the group laugh is not allowed the rest of the world will be left laughing their head off while the local citizens are denied their birth right to laugh!`Believe me,it is an international norm for the citizens to indulge in group laughing,ha ha!’ she pleaded with the police chief!
The EC however shot back to say that there is nothing wrong with our elections because you cannot compare the elections here with those overseas. Ha Ha Land has a highly combustible mix of citizens such that open group laugh by any group can lead to suspicion by others, riots and bloodshed! This is a unique phenomenon studied and verified only by our own anthropologists!
The Prime Minister offer this to reinforce the point of his Minister: 3 million of our members are on call to come out for a laughing competition if the group above refused to call off their miniscule laughing session on July 9th. But we will not do it as it is irresponsible to spend public fund to bring in our party members, said the PM in a remote village at the edge of the kingdom. While there is no corroboration 15 000 people reportedly clapped and laughed aloud with the happy-looking PM.
The Chambers of Commerce which is currently helmed by the president of the Comics Association, came out to talk straight: laughter is contagious. If everyone laugh they will put down the work in their hand and this will seriously affect the country’s productivity!
After that the Election Commission came forward to give his piece: organising a group laughing session on July 9th is an Opposition plot to create momentum for the Opposition in the coming general elections. Laughing together will create a momentum for the Opposition as a laughing voter doesn’t care much who he/she vote for. They are trying desperately to copy their success at the last laughing session before the last general elections. The Opposition continue to laugh unstoppably after the general elections, according to alternative media only. He condemned the HHH as a not so happy group.
After the directive several happy folks from the supporters of the July 9th laughing session, were reported arrested in the middle of their warm-up group laughs in coffee shops and pubs around the country. They were all arrested with a laugh on their face-where a dated video clip provided the irrefutable prove of the crime in each case. Some of them wore the t-shirt with the words `Ha, ha, ha’ on it. The t-shirt has also been pronounced illegal by the Minister.
When the HHH chairperson refused to stop the laughing session on July 9th the police raided their office in Section One Four, Pee Jay. They collected hundreds of the yellow t-shirts sporting a laughing face and computers, CDs and other documents for the organising of the group laughing session.
The above news came from Ha Ha Land, on 1st July 2020.
By: Bur Numb Ma news agency(Some where next to Bur Ma, specialty purveyor of factional news)